When we’re young we think our potential is unlimited. When we ask a child what he wants to do as an adult the answers often surprise us. But growing up we begin listening to people around us and stop believing in ourselves. The fear of failure and the need to hold on to something we consider secure make us lose confidence in ourselves.
However, self-confidence is the main ingredient of success. If we don’t trust our potential we are bound to fail even before starting. For this reason, developing self-confidence, learning to bet on us, is one of the greatest gifts we can do to ourselves. And when we succeed in it little miracles start occurring inside us:
1. We criticize less the others
Judgments and criticism reflect more those issuing them than those who receive them. Who spends most of his time judging others have little time left to grow as a person. So when you use part of your energy to develop self-confidence you become a less critic person, stop concentrating on others and start concentrating on yourself. At that point your horizons expand and you become a more flexible and open-minded person.
2. We invent fewer excuses and do more
“I have no time” is the main excuse of people to avoid embarking on new projects or pursue their dreams. In fact, this excuse only hides the fear of failure and lack of self-confidence. So, when you start trusting yourself that excuse will disappear and you become a proactive person who takes the initiative and the courage to do what really motivates him. Henry Ford already told it: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right”.
3. We become a persevering person
If you don’t believe in yourself, you will abandon at the first hurdle, because this will become the confirmation of your worst fears. But when you trust what you can do, the obstacles become opportunities to learn and redefine your strategy. Without realizing it, self-confidence makes of you a persistent person, someone who doesn’t lose courage in adversity. You understand that sometimes life does not tell you to “stop”, but rather “take a moment and recover your strength”.
4. We stimulate others to trust ourselves
If we don’t trust ourselves how can we expect others do? On the contrary, if we transmit trust and security, the others perceive it and will trust us. If the others see that we don’t invent excuses but roll up our sleeves and start working, sooner or later they will end up infected by our enthusiasm and optimism.
5.We assume a more critical attitude in front of criticism
Nobody likes to be criticized. However, successful people are able to extract what is positive in criticism and use it to improve their strategy or change their opinions. They can do that only because have a solid emotional base, because understand that criticism is not an attack on their person and do not defend them from it, but use it to improve them. Self-confidence gives you the security to face criticism and come out strengthened, instead of letting it damaging your self-esteem. In this regard, Earl Grey Stevens said that: “Confidence, like art, never comes from having all the answers; it comes from being open to all the questions”.
6. We develop a greater self-control and discipline
Developing self-confidence means to start a journey to discover our “ego”. Invariably, this trip will take you to the best version of yourself. In fact, self-confidence not only involves an act of emancipation but also represents a great responsibility. When you’re aware that many of the things you want depend only on your own efforts you become a more disciplined person and enhance your self-control, because you understand that these are the tools to use every day to achieve your dreams.
7. We increase our potential for success
When you start trusting your potential is like it is opening in front of you a new universe of possibilities. When you stop limiting yourself you start to perceive what you really want. At that very moment don’t be surprised if you notice that the universe is aligned and works in your favor. Actually this is not a cosmic miracle, the universe was already in your favor, even before, but the mental barriers that you self-imposed yourself prevented you to see the opportunities that can be seized.
Postscript: Self-confidence based on positive phrases is not genuine confidence. Self-confidence must come from an inner change, from a real restructuring of the old ways of thinking and relate with ourselves.