No one wants to experience painful emotions. But sooner or later, anxiety, sadness, disappointment, or frustration enter our lives. At that moment, we have no choice but to deal with them as best we can.
Furthermore, in a society where “negative” emotions have been stigmatized and the idea of happiness at all costs has been promoted, dealing with these emotions is even more difficult because, in a sense, we are ashamed of them. We believe that something is wrong with us because we are feeling them, and our first impulse is to get rid of them as quickly as possible.
Therefore, it’s essential to have a “toolbox” that allows us to effectively manage the painful emotions we may experience throughout life. This way, we’ll lessen their impact and, at the same time, listen to the message they have to convey to us.
Why resort to creative techniques?
Sometimes painful emotions are so deeply rooted that talking about them isn’t very helpful. In fact, when emotions are very intense, we can try to make sense of them, but it’ll probably do little. It’s like a fear of flying or spiders: we know it’s irrational, but we still can’t get rid of it.
This is because, in some cases, these emotions are generated in the unconscious. And the unconscious doesn’t work with words but with symbols, images, and meanings. Therefore, sometimes the best techniques for relieving painful emotions are those that don’t use words.
These are techniques that we could describe as “creative” and that allow us to connect with our deepest self, with our unconscious. The most interesting thing, however, is that they are very simple techniques accessible to everyone, yet they have enormous power to calm emotions. In fact, instead of judging them, simply try them and assess their effect on yourself.
A powerful toolbox to ease the emotions that trouble us
1. Create a safe space. Find a quiet place where you can sit for about 10 minutes. Play some relaxing music and close your eyes. Imagine yourself in a safe space, where you feel comfortable and at ease. Use your senses: What’s the temperature in the room? What colors do you see? What does it smell like? What do you hear? Next, draw that safe space with as much detail as possible. Save the drawing; it will be a constant reminder of that incredible feeling of spiritual peace. You can also return to that place whenever you need to, when your emotions are causing you great pain and suffering.
2. Doodle. You don’t have to be artistic; it’s simply a matter of doodling on paper. However, it’s recommended that you use bright colors, such as black or red. Spend 10 minutes doodling on a large sheet of paper, without thinking about anything else. You can use bold strokes or press hard, as you prefer. Imagine pouring those troubling emotions onto the paper. You can even localize them at the level of your body and visualize them passing through your arms to those doodles. When you’re done, you’ll feel enormously relieved.
3. Add a soundtrack to your emotions. Music has enormous power over our mood as it connects directly to the limbic system, which is primarily responsible for regulating emotions. Therefore, one technique for dealing with painful emotions is to create your own playlist with songs that reflect the emotion you’d like to let go of, such as anger, pain, or sadness. Immerse yourself in music for 10 minutes. By the end, you’ll feel more at ease with yourself, and the emotion that was tormenting you will have lessened. In fact, it has been shown that “sad” music can actually cheer us up.
4. Tear a piece of paper. Choose a piece of paper in a color that reflects the main emotion you’re experiencing at that moment. Then, spend 10 minutes tearing the paper. The idea is to tear it as quickly or as slowly as you prefer, although ideally, you should do it very slowly, while you locate the emotion in your body and feel it pass through your hands and reach the paper you’re tearing. When you’re done, you’ll feel more relieved and calm.
Another alternative is to cut strips of paper and write down the things that worry you on each one. Place the strips in a jar, shake it several times, and watch all those worries mix together, just as they do in your mind. Then, symbolically, burn the strips. As you watch them burn, you’ll feel a sense of calm.
5. Create an emotional collage. Flip through old magazines you have at home to find images that express what you’re feeling. It’s important not to overthink them, just choose the images based on their emotional resonance. Cut them out and paste them on a large sheet of paper. When you’ve finished the collage, look at the image you’ve created and ask yourself what you’re trying to tell yourself.
Our deepest emotions can be expressed most easily through visual images and symbols. Therefore, at first, it may seem like you’re choosing images at random, but when you delve deeper, you discover the reason for your choices. Often, by understanding their meaning, you can understand why you feel that way.
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