It may seem a contradiction. The idea is so absurd that it seems surreal. However, we all sometimes need to have a toxic person next to us in our lives. Toxic people can offer important lessons and show us how strong we can be when circumstances challenge us.
In this regard, Viktor Frankl wrote that life is always potentially significant, because we are able to extract meaning even from suffering itself. So sometimes, toxic relationships give us a view of the world that we did not know before.
You do not know how strong you are until being strong is the only chance you have
There are times when we feel a knot in the stomach, a sense of existential suffocation, as if we had taken away the psychological oxygen, we are paralyzed by the fear of uncertainty, a fear that comes from not knowing exactly what is happening… When this happens and there is nothing to cling to, we make the only logical step that determines our survival: we end the relationship with the toxic person who threatens to ruin our lives.
Then we start flying with our wings and, even if we do not know exactly where to head, the sense of freedom is so beautiful and exciting, that we simply enjoy it. At that moment life takes its course and we discover our true inner strength.
Sometimes is enough an external stimulus to encourage us to react and allow us develop a force that we did not even suspect we had. A toxic person can be the push we need to start flying with our wings and discover our potential as we move away from what hurts us.
Some people come into our lives to teach us not to be like them
Selfish friends, controlling partners, eternal loves that ended up being a nightmare, envious workmates or even the family that consumes us slowly… In fact, anyone in our environment can be a toxic person and although it is true that the ideal would be to maintain mature and balanced relationships, this is not always possible and sometimes we fall into its network. So all that remains us to do is observe the situation from the most positive perspective possible.
The toxic person also offers us the opportunity to understand what we value and what makes us uncomfortable, disturb or cause us damage. Without wanting to, it becomes a kind of life master that leads us to reflect on our principles and values, thus reaffirming our identity.
There is no doubt that betrayal, emotional coldness, arrogance and humiliation do much harm, but they are life experiences from which we can emerge stronger. Considering these experiences, we need to rethink our priorities and our actions toward the others.
Sometimes, going through a bad time makes us better people, transforms us into people who are more sensitive to others and able to better appreciate the help that others offer us. Sometimes, tackling the negative attitudes of the others is like standing in front of a mirror, allowing us to see things that we can improve and understand how we contribute to this situation.
Do not make the mistake of remaining paralyzed
There is no doubt that relate to a toxic person can be a difficult experience, but as with all negative experiences, we can learn the lesson and grow or, on the contrary, remain paralyzed in rancor, pain and guilt.
Of course we all want to maintain mature and balanced relationships, but when we fall into a toxic relationship, we can exploit it in our favor and use it to free ourselves from our insecurities. The decision is always in our hands. Remember that sometimes a small change in perspective is enough to change everything.