If you have a young child, you’ve probably noticed that he or she sometimes talks to himself while playing. It is difficult for us adults to understand why they do it and we often even worry. Some go one step further and even reprimand children by telling them that “talking to yourself is crazy!,” so that they end up inhibiting that dialogue.
However, in the preschool stage it is quite common for some children to talk to themselves, a habit that is not worrying, as long as it is not accompanied by other unusual behaviors. In fact, researchers at George Mason University have shown that 5-year-old children perform tasks better when they talk out loud to themselves than when they do it silently.
It is common for children to talk to themselves
Young children often talk to themselves while engrossed in an activity. They do it while drawing, but also when playing or doing schoolwork.
These psychologists found that 78% of children (including children with autism) performed better and even obtained better results in what they were doing when they talked to themselves than when they were silent. However, they also noticed that children diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) tended to talk to themselves more.
Why? Probably because these little ones need more direction and control to carry out tasks, so they externalize their inner dialogue as a strategy to help themselves.
In fact, these psychologists affirm that this monologue with themselves is beneficial and that it is not advisable for parents or teachers to try to limit it. Rather, they could take advantage of it as a window into the child’s mind, to better understand what and how children think. We can use this discourse to understand their self-regulation process, motivation, emotions or the strategies they use.
Why do children talk to themselves? Everything they learn through that monologue
Talking to themselves is a perfectly normal tendency in children between 2 and 5 years old. When little ones start talking to themselves, they improve their communication skills with others. They explore the world and language in the same way they learn to walk; That is, they practice and guide themselves while performing certain activities.
At that stage, they begin to use language as a way of thinking. Children use external speech in the transition period, which is critical for their development. In fact, it is essential for them to learn to self-correct when there is no one to tell them if they are doing it right or wrong, so that they begin to exercise self-control and self-evaluation.
When these two communication processes merge, there comes a point where the child does not need to speak out loud and that self-control shifts to his or her inner dialogue; That is, it begins to regulate itself through thought.
Much more than a cognitive process
It is also common for children to talk to themselves while they are playing or talking to toys. This strategy helps them synchronize the different areas of the brain. In fact, it allows the little ones to make sense of the world around them and encourages them to begin to put themselves in the shoes of others.
This type of dialogue improves their imagination and empathy, especially when they are alone and converse with their toys, since they have to become listeners and speakers, creating a dialogue that makes sense in both directions. This helps children assume different roles and better understand their functions as, for example, being a teacher and student at the same time.
They also listen to themselves, being more aware of what they’re saying.
On the other hand, it allows them to acquire more vocabulary and structure sentences better since they are in a hurry to prepare the answer, but they can take all the time in the world to construct their speech. At the same time, they are learning to use turn-taking since it is impossible for the characters they have created to interrupt each other. This is how the little ones learn the importance of listening and being listened to.
In the long run, talking to themselves helps children be more creative, generate new ideas to talk to others, and be more empathetic. It even allows them to model conflict resolution, find solutions, and be more flexible.
When to worry?
In a general sense, talking out loud to oneself is not necessarily a worrying thing. Children will most likely outgrow it over time, as that language is internalized and transformed into thought.
In fact, we must keep in mind that many adults solve problems or do tasks by talking out loud to themselves, so it is an effective tool at any age.
However, there are some signs that could raise the alarm that something is not right.
- If it occurs suddenly or its frequency intensifies, especially after a traumatic event, such as the death of a pet.
- If the child becomes socially isolated.
- If the dialogue becomes repetitive.
- If they repeat other people’s words, in which case it would be echolalia.
In these cases, it would be better to contact a psychologist to assess whether it is a normal response or whether intervention is necessary.
Sources:
Winsler, A. et. Al. (2007) Should I let them talk?’: Private speech and task performance among preschool children with and without behavior problems. Early Childhood Research Quarterly; 22(2): 215-231.
Berk, LE (1985) Why children talk to themselves. Young Children; 40(5): 46–52.
