Have you ever felt like, after weeks of stress, you sit down to work and just… feel like you can’t take it anymore? You look at the screen or the report and the words seem like incomprehensible hieroglyphics. Emails pile up, tasks wait, but inside you, there’s only emptiness.
Other times, that emotional blackout occurs in the middle of a get-together with friends or family. Suddenly, you feel disconnected. Everything continues as it should: laughter, conversations, anecdotes… but you’re no longer there, and you see everything from a strange distance.
Like a switch that flips when there’s a surge, your mind can also suddenly shut down if emotions overwhelm you, leaving you disconnected and in the dark. Your “emotional fuses” blow, plunging you into a state of apathy, indifference, and disinterest, unable to connect with yourself and the world around you because the emotions and feelings that normally act as a compass have virtually disappeared.
What exactly is an emotional blackout?
Emotional blackout is a defense mechanism the brain activates when it’s so saturated with emotions, stress, or information that it decides to disconnect to avoid a complete meltdown. It’s a temporary state of emotional disconnection or numbness, often brought on by situations perceived as overwhelming and difficult to manage. Basically, it’s as if your brain’s emotional processing center decides to take a vacation to avoid a complete meltdown.
Symptoms: How do you know if your brain has already activated the security system?
Emotional blackout isn’t just about being sad or tired; it’s about feeling like you’ve turned the volume down on your life. And it’s much more common than you might think. Some signs that you might be experiencing this state include:
- You don’t care about anything. What once excited you now seems as appealing as boiled broccoli without salt. Nothing excites or excites you; you’re stuck in the most total apathy. You feel emotionally numb, as if you’re looking at your life through a dense fog that prevents you from perceiving and enjoying the nuances.
- Delayed reactions. Whether you’re being told the funniest joke in the world or just found out you have to work all weekend, your reaction is like that of a wax statue. It’s as if everything that happens to you passes through an emotional buffering filter.
- You go on autopilot. You get up, you work, you eat, you sleep, and… you start all over again. Your repertoire of phrases is reduced to the basics: “yes,” “no,” “oh, right,” “I see.” You simply stop living and limit yourself to surviving by getting on with the bare minimum.
- Your social battery is depleted. It’s not that you hate people or that you’ve become a recluse, it’s that you simply can’t or don’t want to make the effort to respond enthusiastically. Your social energy is at its lowest, and your relationships suffer because they perceive your attitude as a lack of interest or even indifference.
- Total disconnection. Emotional blackout is characterized by an almost complete disconnection from your feelings. You disconnect not only from the world, but also from yourself, so you begin to see yourself as a complete stranger, with a feeling of estrangement and depersonalization.
When Emotions Fade: Why Does Emotional Blackout Occur?
The triggers for emotional blackouts are as unique as fingerprints. For some people, it may be a heated argument that has pushed them to the limit. For others, it may be the accumulation of small stressors.
However, as a general rule, stress and trauma are the main triggers of emotional blackout. In fact, studies have shown that it is often a response in exhausted caregivers who care for others, as well as in those who have experienced trauma. Another study conducted at the University of British Columbia also suggested that it can even occur in people who are overwhelmed by daily stress.
Therefore, the emotional shutdown can be understood as a kind of emergency button the brain uses to avoid a full-blown emotional short circuit. If your brain is constantly working in a state of high alert—because you’re always functioning at 110%—it’s normal for it to give in sooner or later.
Deep down, your brain just wants to protect you and decides the best way to do so is to go into “power-saving mode.” It then reduces the intensity of your emotions so you don’t completely collapse. It can’t cut off the flow of external stimuli, but it dampens their interpretation by making your emotional analysis centers less reactive.
The consequences of living in “feelings economy mode”
In the short term, the emotional shutdown might even seem helpful: less stress, less drama, more peace of mind. But in the long term, you can end up disconnecting from your inner world and everything that made you happy, becoming a distant spectator of your own life.
It’s also common to lose interest in interactions . In fact, relationships are often the ones that suffer the most during an emotional blackout because it’s difficult to connect with others when you feel disconnected from yourself.
In this state, social interactions can feel more intimidating than climbing a cliff without safety gear, so you’re likely to avoid situations or people you used to like. The problem is that others often interpret this state as disinterest, which often leads to misunderstandings and conflict .
On the other hand, this state of anhedonia also affects performance. Concentration becomes a luxury you can’t afford, and productivity plummets. You may find yourself staring into space, unable to remember what you just did a minute ago or what you were planning to do the next.
When you spend a lot of time in this state, fatigue often sets in , making even the simplest tasks seem more difficult than climbing Everest. You may feel like you’re trying to navigate an uncharted sea with a broken compass, having lost the emotions that guided you.
How to prevent your brain from “shutting down” without warning
- Learn to recognize the signs of exhaustion. If you feel like you’re about to collapse, take it as a sign that you need a break or that you need to make some major changes in your daily routine. Don’t wait until your brain needs to shut down as a last resort.
- Identify your emotional triggers. These are situations, people, or even thoughts that push you to the limit and worsen your emotional state. It’s not always easy to detect them, so you can keep a journal to help you discover these patterns and serve as an early warning to avoid the emotional tsunamis they trigger.
- Create a crisis plan. What will you do when you feel yourself reaching your limit? What techniques will you use? How will you relax? Recognizing warning signs and emotional triggers is of little use if you don’t have a solid plan to deal with what’s happening to you. Being clear about what helps you relax and reconnect with yourself will be your lifeline to avoid an emotional blackout.
- Apply stress management and emotional regulation techniques. Practices such as mindful meditation, deep breathing exercises, and progressive muscle relaxation will prevent you from reaching the point of no return. They will also help you become more in tune with your inner world, so that the outside world doesn’t seem so threatening.
What if you’re already in the midst of an emotional blackout?
Don’t worry, we’ve all gone through times when we feel disconnected from everything and everyone. The first thing is not to judge yourself for it. Your brain isn’t being “lazy,” it’s just trying to protect you. Try these strategies:
- Immediate self-care. When you feel the “darkness” approaching, instead of continuing no matter what, ignoring what’s happening to you, stop and pay attention to your inner child. Treat yourself as if you were a scared little one. Breathe deeply, find a quiet space, and remind yourself that this too shall pass. It will be like giving yourself a warm, comforting hug from within.
- Find something that allows you to reconnect. We all have something that moves us, even in the darkest moments of life. Listen to music, watch a movie you like, or do something that makes you laugh. In fact, humor is an excellent strategy for relieving tension and finding pleasure in the little things.
- Talk (or write). Getting what’s inside out, even if it doesn’t seem like it makes much sense at first, will help you reconnect with yourself. You can talk to someone you trust who won’t judge you or write down what you’re experiencing. Putting what’s happening to you into words will help you process those emotions and move past this stage, because it will allow you to see everything with greater clarity and perspective.
- Do different things. Routine kills the spark, even in the most energetic and vital people. Breaking the monotony by making small changes to your daily routine could be all you need to reconnect with the joys of life.
In short, an emotional shutdown is like a forced reset of your emotional operating system. It’s not ideal, but sometimes it’s necessary. Obviously, it’s not the end of the world, but it’s not a place you want to stay for long either. So the next time you feel like you’re about to shut down, treat yourself more kindly and slow down. Retuning to your needs and passions will help you get back to the high-resolution, color version of your life.
References:
Helm, K. et. Al. (2020) The Psychological Trauma of Black students and Black professionals on campus after the murder of George Floyd. Together We RISE 2020; Eastern Illinois University.
Gross, J. J. (2015) Emotion regulation: Current status and future prospects. Psychological Inquiry; 26(1): 1-26.
Jenkins, E. K. et. Al. (2015) Divided and disconnected — An examination of youths’ experiences with emotional distress within the context of their everyday lives. Health & Place; 35: 105-112.
Porges, S. W. (2011) The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.
Cantwell-Bartl, A. (2006) The Individual and Family Impact of Care for a Person Who Has Chronic Serious Illness or Disability. Grief Matters: The Australian Journal of Grief and Bereavement; 9(1): 12-14.
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