We spend much of the year looking forward to the holidays. But sometimes, when we finally get to disconnect from work, instead of feeling relaxed and happy, we’re overcome with a feeling of emptiness. It’s as if we suddenly lose our bearings and feel disoriented.
In fact, that is precisely what happens.
Throughout the year, we live immersed in a constant hustle and bustle. We’re constantly busy putting out small fires, meeting work and family demands… When the holidays finally arrive, the pace slows down, and we let go of many of those daily obligations – or at least we take them on with a more relaxed attitude.
It’s as if we’ve been running at top speed all year long, and suddenly, the holidays force us to stop in our tracks. At that moment, silence and stillness appear. More opportunities arise to be alone with ourselves and ask ourselves those existential questions that don’t normally arise when we’re grocery shopping or taking the kids to school.
And that’s where the confusion begins. Because instead of feeling relief, a kind of dull unease appears. A strange, uncomfortable, and sometimes even slightly sad feeling. Why, if now is supposed to be the time to be happy?
Noise and hyperactivity as anesthesia
Alan Watts believed that we experience a kind of collective anesthesia. A hyperactivity disguised as productivity. According to this philosopher, much of modern malaise stems precisely from the constant need to be doing something, moving, entertaining ourselves… From living in flight from the present, anesthetizing ourselves with stimuli so we don’t have to listen to our inner dialogue.
We’re afraid that we won’t like the answers we find, so we try to avoid considering them at all costs, often narcotizing ourselves with “A violent and complex stimulation of the senses, which makes us progressively less sensitive and, thus, more in need of even more violent stimulation. We crave distraction, a panorama of sights, sounds, emotions, and excitements into which as much stuff as possible must be crammed into the shortest possible time,” as Watts explained.
Obviously, this doesn’t just refer to drugs, alcohol, or having fun. It also refers to overwork, constant notifications, background TV noise, and endless to-do lists. We keep ourselves busy as a subtle form of escape.
Because if we stop, if silence slips through the cracks of routine, we may hear things we don’t want to hear.
When we clear our schedules on vacation, we leave room for pent-up emotions, unmade decisions, unfinished chapters, and lingering contradictions to emerge. And that, of course, is uncomfortable. That’s why many people experience a feeling of emptiness on vacation: not because they’re doing nothing, but because they’re finally allowing what was hidden behind that frenetic activity to emerge.
For this reason, many vacations become a disguised version of the work year, with a packed schedule of activities, excursions, and plans from morning to night. We tell ourselves we want to “take advantage” of our free time, but in reality, we’re just repeating the same pattern: filling every available space so we don’t feel empty.
The contradictory thing is that the more we try to fill it with activities, the deeper it becomes.
Vacations as an emotional thermometer and emptiness as an opportunity
That feeling of emptiness and disorientation may not be pleasant, but it’s not necessarily negative. In fact, it can be the starting point for profound change. Emptiness simply tells us that there’s space available.
And it’s not about filling it immediately, but about listening to it. The discomfort we feel on vacation can be a sign of something deeper: that your usual pace is excessive, that you’re so used to numbing yourself with activities that you no longer know how to be doing nothing, or that you need to reconnect with yourself without intermediaries.
Don’t try to cover up this feeling with other things. Stop and face the questions that have begun to haunt you: What is this feeling of emptiness telling me? What part of me needs attention? Do I really like the life I’m leading? Is my daily life aligned with my long-term goals and dreams?
From there, take a proactive approach. If your vacation confronts you with discomfort, it may not be because your vacation was poorly designed, but because your lifestyle is sustained by constant stress. And that model is unsustainable in the long term. Therefore, look for viable alternatives to build the life you want.
Maybe this vacation is the beginning of a change that will help you feel better all year long and reconnect with your sense of purpose.
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