The alarm sounds. It’s time to get up to do the same things, in the same order and in the same way: make the same breakfast every day, take the same route to work, see the same people, do the same tasks, return back home and, at the end of the day, go to bed at more or less the same time.
Without realizing it, our entire life can become a banal routine. A gray monotony floods our days and little by little infiltrates our soul, making us forget about our hopes, dreams and illusions while we move further and further away from the pleasure generated by novelty. The philosopher Gabriel Marcel considered that when we fall into this state, we remain buried under a dense network of habits and routines. And he wasn’t wrong, but that’s not even the worst thing.
The habit trap: ignoring what we should see
Habits are formed when we repeat an action so much that we no longer have to think about it. We do not have to decide at every step, but movements and actions are automated. You prepare your morning coffee half asleep and move from home to work without paying attention to the details around you. You spend much of the day on autopilot.
Of course, habits are powerful tools because they prevent conscious effort that would require considerable mental energy. You don’t have to think every day about how much coffee to add or which street to take to go to work and back home. All those small actions are automatic. From that perspective, they save time and effort.
However, routine also means that we pay less and less attention to what is around us. As a result, we are likely to become blind to what deserves our attention. And I’m not just referring to that new flower that has grown on the side of the road, but to dynamics that make us inefficient and unhappy. Habits can cause us to become accustomed to toxic relationships or ineffective work routines that steal our time and energy, so we don’t see the problems.
Habits also set another, even more dangerous trap for us: they push us to take for granted many of the wonderful things that accompany us. And when we get used to them, their power to brighten our lives gradually diminishes, to the point that what should be a source of pride, satisfaction or happiness simply becomes part of the decoration.
Habit pushes us into the arms of hedonistic adaptation. It discolors what is valuable, minimizes our achievements, clouds relationships and even makes the people we love transparent. Everything we should enjoy takes a backseat, buried under the weight of daily routines. We begin to assume that those things and people will always be there, so their power to bring us joy fades.
Basically, habits cause us to ignore what we should notice, both positive and negative things.
Getting out of habit: how to get out of the routine?
Sometimes it is necessary to implement a “dishabituation” plan that allows us to notice again what we did not see. An effective strategy to adopt psychological distance is to distance ourselves from the environment in which we deploy that network of habits.
We would all need to take a break from our lives. Yes, get away a little so that when we return, we can see it with different eyes. Has it happened to you that, after a couple of weeks away on a work trip, you appreciate your home life more? Or that when you return you feel that you love your partner more or feel more connected to your children?
Distancing yourself from habits will help you appreciate what normally goes unnoticed due to the dense fog that everyday life produces. Breaking your routine will allow you to return to your life with a renewed outlook and a new sense of gratitude.
However, just the opposite can also happen. Maybe when you return home you won’t feel any joy or connection. And that is an alarm signal that indicates that you urgently need to change something in your life.
In fact, there are some habits that were once effective, but are no longer effective. Or maybe they take you away from your goals or the person you want to be. In that case, you need to rethink all those daily actions to change those that do not bring you joy, have lost their reason for being or take you away from the life you really want to lead. This way you won’t feel trapped in their networks.
The necessary balance
A study conducted by psychologists at the universities of Miami and New York found that we feel happier when we abandon our daily routines, explore new places, and have a broader range of experiences. Even small changes in your physical or mental routine can produce positive effects.
However, this is not an ode against habits. Routines are useful. In fact, our brain needs certain heuristics to function at full capacity, which is why many of the most successful people tend to have solid and effective habits.
Like everything in life, the key is balance.
The existentialist Gabriel Marcel reminds us that “We can only continue being what we are if we constantly recreate ourselves.” This philosopher broke with the cliché that equated fidelity with repetition, monotony or tedium. He believed that the ability to reinvent ourselves is a maximum value.
Therefore, the key lies in taking an inventory of our habits from time to time to detect those that make us unhappy or lack meaning. When we challenge comfort and step out of routine we open ourselves to new experiences and perspectives while preserving functional heuristics.
Just as we strive to create healthy habits or habits that simplify our day, we should also strive to look for new opportunities to explore. We should aspire to grow and not stagnate. Ultimately, embracing change isn’t just about escaping monotony, it’s an important step toward living a fuller, purposeful life.
References:
Thomson, J. (2024) Trapped in routine? Here’s how to “dishabituate” and rediscover joy. In: Big Think.
Heller, A. S. et. Al. (2020) Association between real-world experiential diversity and positive affect relates to hippocampal–striatal functional connectivity. Nat Neurosci; 23: 800–804.
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