The internal dialogue technique or the empty chair: How to apply it step by step?

The internal dialogue technique, also known as the empty chair or hot seat technique, is one of the most emblematic and powerful tools of Gestalt Therapy. Its main objective is to bring our different internal parts into contact, those that often oppose each other or that we deny and reject.

Basically, this technique allows us to explore internal conflicts, reconcile with our emotions, and promotes the integration of aspects of ourselves that we have alienated or projected onto others.

What is the origin of this technique?

The idea of ​​opposites is not new. Eastern philosophical traditions, such as Taoism and Buddhism, already spoke of the importance of finding a balance between opposing forces: light and darkness, activity and rest, giving and receiving. According to these teachings, harmony arises not by eliminating one pole, but by allowing both to coexist and complement each other.

In Western psychology, Carl Jung was one of the first to apply this idea to human behavior and personality. He observed that we all have internal polarities: opposing facets that coexist within us and that, if one dominates too much, it tends to suppress or limit the expression of the other. For example, someone very passive may have difficulty activating their energy and making decisions, while someone extremely active may avoid introspection or find it impossible to achieve the necessary calm.

Some examples of this polarity that you may find familiar are:

• Liabilities and assets
• The kind and the wicked
• The oppressor and the oppressed
• The sad one and the happy one
• The brave one and the fearful one
• The independent and the dependent

Applying the concept of opposites to behavior and personality allows us to explore our deepest psychology. In fact, it was Fritz Perls who developed this technique to help us recognize those parts of ourselves that we sometimes ignore or reject, and to find ways to balance them. The goal is not to eliminate one of the poles, but to learn to live with both, integrate them, and use them as resources, instead of living in constant conflict with ourselves.

How does the internal dialogue technique work?

The self-talk technique, or empty chair technique, is based on creating a safe space for different parts of yourself to express and listen to each other. In practice, it works like this:

1. Prepare the space. Find a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted and place an empty chair in front of you. This chair will represent the part of yourself you want to talk to, or a significant person.
2. Identify the issue or conflict. Decide which aspect you want to explore. It could be a repressed emotion, a part of yourself that you reject, or an internal dilemma, such as: “I want to move forward but I’m afraid.”
3. Start the dialogue. Sit in your chair and speak from your current perspective. Then, switch chairs and respond from the other person’s point of view, imagining how they feel or what they want to express.
4. Listen actively. As you speak, listen to yourself without judgment , even if something uncomfortable or contradictory arises. The goal is not to resolve the conflict immediately, but to explore emotions, needs, and perspectives that are usually hidden or repressed.
5. Integrate what you’ve learned. When you finish, take a few minutes to reflect on what you discovered. You can write it in a therapeutic journal, identify new emotions, or notice changes in your perception of the conflict.

This process allows each part to feel recognized and, over time, to integrate those aspects of yourself, strengthening your self-knowledge, your emotional balance, and your ability to relate to yourself and others in a more serene way.

When to use the internal dialogue technique (empty chair)

You can use the Gestalt technique of inner dialogue whenever you feel that parts of yourself are in conflict or experience emotions that you can’t integrate. It is especially useful in situations such as:

• You reject certain characteristics, such as your sensitivity, impulsiveness, or fear of failure. Placing them in the “empty chair” allows you to listen to them, understand them, and reintegrate them in a healthy way.
• You want something and you don’t want something at the same time. This internal struggle between opposing desires, such as the desire to advance professionally and the fear of making a mistake, can be explored with the technique of self-talk until clarity is found.
• You project onto others what you don’t recognize in yourself. If you notice that you criticize or judge someone disproportionately, it may be a sign that you are projecting something of your own that you need to acknowledge.
• You want to better understand someone else. In that case, you can use the empty chair to “dialogue” with someone significant, practicing empathy without entering into a direct confrontation, as various studies have shown.
• You need to make important decisions, but you’re torn between two options and can’t decide. Placing each “option” on an empty chair and discussing them will help you clarify priorities, emotions, and consequences, facilitating a more conscious choice.
• Working through unexpressed emotions toward others. If you feel anger, guilt, sadness, or frustration toward someone but can’t communicate it directly, research suggests that the empty chair allows you to safely express and process those emotions, preventing them from building up or exploding at inappropriate times.

In short, whenever you experience inner conflict, repressed emotions, or difficulty accepting parts of yourself or empathizing with others, the empty chair is a practical tool for exploring, expressing, and reconciling all of that. It’s a safe space where you can talk, listen, and understand, without judgment or pressure.

The benefits of the internal dialogue technique

One of the main advantages is self-awareness. When you give voice to the “rejected selves” that live inside you, you learn to recognize emotions, desires, and conflicts that were previously confusing or that you had repressed.

The technique is also effective in reducing repressed negative emotions, such as guilt, anger, or fear. By allowing these emotions to be expressed in a safe and controlled space, it decreases internal tension and stress, contributing to greater emotional resilience.

This, in turn, often makes decision-making easier. When you know yourself better, you finally integrate all parts of yourself, gaining greater clarity about your life, and therefore find it much easier to choose a path.

Finally, the technique of self-talk also improves self-esteem. When you integrate aspects you previously rejected, you experience a greater sense of coherence and unity. This process strengthens self-confidence, increases self-compassion, and fosters more authentic relationships with yourself and others.

References:

Kamra, A. (2024) Efficacy of Empty Chair Technique in Resolving Conflicts Between Parent-Child Relationships. International Journal of Neurolinguistics & Gestalt Psychology; 10.52522.

Glass, T. A. (2010) The empty chair as a tool to promote self-awareness and interaction in groups. In S. S. Fehr (Ed.), 101 interventions in group therapy (Rev. ed., pp. 381–385). Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.

Martín, A. (2006) Manual Práctico de Psicoterapia Gestalt. Bilbao: Desclee de Brouwer.

Paivio, S. C. & Greenberg, L. S. (1995) Resolving «unfinished business»: efficacy of experiential therapy using empty-chair dialogue. J Consult Clin Psychol; 63(3): 419-425.