Loving yourself, another way to celebrate Valentine’s Day

Traditionally, Valentine’s Day has been associated with candlelit dinners and romantic gestures to pamper your partner and show them how much you love them. However, this day is not just about celebrating romantic love. It is also an opportunity to love yourself, practice self-love and appreciation.

In fact, the longest lasting relationship we have in life is with ourselves.

But how often do you offer yourself the same love, attention and care that you give to others? Whether you’re single or in a relationship, Valentine’s Day is a perfect opportunity to rethink your relationship with yourself and pamper yourself as you would pamper others. Because, in the end, if you can’t treat yourself with love and affection, how can you demand it from others?

Loving yourself, that pending subject

The idea of ​​celebrating Valentine’s Day with yourself may seem strange to you. You may even find it foolish and selfish. That’s perfectly normal. We’ve been taught to give ourselves completely and sacrifice ourselves for others, forgetting our own needs.

For this reason, instead of trying to figure out what we need, we often ask ourselves other questions that lead us to relegate ourselves to the second or even third plane:

• Have I worked hard enough to deserve a break?
• Have I met expectations today?
• Have I been productive enough to feel good about myself?
• Shouldn’t I be doing something more useful instead of resting?
• Do I really deserve that praise?

When we condition our care – whether physical or mental – it means we measure our worth by our achievements, external validation, and what we do for others. Self-love, however, is not about proving anything, but about recognizing that you already deserve attention, care, and kindness. And that there is no one better able to meet those needs than yourself.

In fact, loving yourself is not selfishness or narcissism, it is essential because what you give to yourself is what you will end up receiving from others. If you love and respect yourself, those around you will also be more likely to love and respect you. Celebrating self-love does not mean rejecting or belittling those around you, but rather recognizing that you are also important and should prioritize yourself.

Furthermore, you can’t give your best to others if you don’t take care of yourself first. Imagine a glass of water: if the glass is almost empty, you won’t be able to fill other people’s glasses. So before you give, make sure you’re full yourself. Numerous studies have shown that people who are able to love themselves not only have higher self-esteem, motivation, and determination, but also better mental health and even more positive interpersonal relationships.

How to promote self-love

Loving yourself is not just an idea that makes us feel good, it is a practice that we must cultivate day after day. And it does not consist of putting motivational quotes as wallpaper or anywhere in the house, but in learning to treat ourselves with the respect and patience that we give to others. How to do it? You can start here:

1. Treat yourself with kindness.  We are often our own worst critics and beat ourselves up mercilessly when we make mistakes. However, what would you say to a friend in the same situation? You probably wouldn’t tell them they’re useless or a failure. So don’t say that to yourself either. Watch your inner dialogue and try to make it work for you, not against you.
2. Set boundaries that respect your needs.  Loving yourself means protecting your time, energy, and mental health. Setting limits is not selfishness, it is an act of respect and self-care because we cannot do everything and we cannot please everyone. Therefore, you must set boundaries that allow you to prioritize your well-being whenever necessary.
3. Celebrate yourself without waiting for anyone’s permission.  We often wait for special occasions, such as birthdays, a promotion, or a major achievement, to pamper ourselves and recognize our worth. But why wait? Recognizing your worth and treating yourself with kindness doesn’t have to depend on external achievements; it should be your everyday modus operandi . You don’t have to wait for someone to give you permission to be kind to yourself or recognize your worth. Get into the habit of celebrating your small triumphs, your progress, and, above all, your effort.
4. Create a gratitude ritual for yourself. Self-love begins with recognizing your worth. This Valentine’s Day, you can take a moment to write yourself a card. Just like those we write to others, but addressed to yourself. Write down what you appreciate or the things you are grateful for, but try not to write them as achievements but rather as qualities or characteristics of your personality. Not only will this help you connect with yourself, but it will also remind you that you are worthy of love and appreciation just the way you are.
5. Plan a date with yourself. Why reserve a special moment just to share it with others? This Valentine’s Day, you can plan a date with yourself. It can be something you’ve always wanted to do but put off due to lack of time or because you think it’s not “important enough.” You can also give yourself a gift, without needing an excuse. Self-love involves knowing what makes you happy and fulfilling it without feeling guilty about it.

So, this Valentine’s Day, don’t wait for someone else to make you feel special. Make yourself feel special. And nurture that relationship every day, because true love begins with the relationship you have with yourself.

References:

Harshad, H. & Ghosh, S. (2022) Self-love: The lesson through which all other lessons are realized. International Journal of Health Sciences; 6(2): 10.53730.

Fields, E. C. & Kuperberg, G. R. (2015) Loving yourself more than your neighbor: ERPs reveal online effects of a self-positivity bias. Soc Cogn Affect Neurosci; 10(9): 1202-1209.