Convincing someone is not always an easy task, even if we resort to the most reasonable arguments. Persuasion is an exquisite mix of intuition and technique, logic and emotion. To be persuasive we must, above all, develop empathy; if we are not able to put ourselves in the other’s shoes, we will not know how to use our reasons to get the most out of them. However, there are some persuasion techniques that can help you convince someone, techniques that we could describe as unusual but no less effective.
Original and effective persuasion techniques
1. Label technique
As its name indicates, the objective of this strategy is to label the person you want to convince, simply by asking them a question. The idea is that you look for a positive characteristic of your interlocutor, which is in tune with what you are going to ask them for next.
The interesting thing is that in many cases you don’t even have to be sure that the person has that characteristic, sometimes it is enough that it is a socially positive attribute. For example, you can ask a person if they are a patient and, when they answer yes, ask them to give you a few minutes of their time or do you a favor you need.
This technique was first tested in the ’60s. Researchers knocked on the doors of some California residents to ask if they would consent to placing a large sign in their yard to encourage people to drive safely. Only 17% accepted. In other houses they changed their strategy: they showed them a much smaller sign and asked them if they would put it up. Most people did. A few weeks later, the researchers returned with the large signs and, astonishingly, 76% of people gave their approval to put them up as well. Why?
This technique appeals to the concept that each person has of themselves and to the principle of coherence according to which, once we have made a decision (especially in front of someone), we will force ourselves to be consistent and make the commitment. The key to using this persuasion technique is simply to find the right label for the person that, at the same time, responds to our ultimate goal.
2. Disorganize-rethink technique
Social relationships are like a couple’s dance where each person anticipates the other’s movements and prepares a response. In an argument, when we are trying to convince someone, the same principle applies. So, what would happen if one of the two went out of that “script” to which we are accustomed?
In 1999, some psychologists verified what happens when we try to convince someone by breaking conventions a little. These researchers took on the task of selling cards for a local charity. However, they used two different strategies, with some people taking a traditional approach: they were told they were given 8 cards for $3. They managed to get 40% to buy them.
The second strategy was to disorient people and reframe the issue: they were told that they were selling 8 cards for 300 cents, and then they added: “It’s a bargain!” As a result, 80% purchased the cards. Why?
When a disruptive element is introduced that we were not prepared for, our mind is forced to change its reasoning patterns. During these moments, cognitive overload occurs and we are more inclined to accept any suggestion that may seem halfway reasonable to us.
3. Self-affirmation technique
Sometimes it is difficult to get people to listen to us. How can you convince someone if they don’t give you a chance to state your reasons? The answer is simple: putting your arguments in their mouth, because people usually pay more attention to their arguments than to those of their interlocutor, especially when they try to win at all costs.
Actually, it’s not as strange as it sounds. In fact, many people apply this persuasion technique instinctively, a classic example is when the mother does not directly scold the child because he has done something wrong but asks him to reflect on his behavior himself.
Back in 1954, a group of psychologists wondered if this persuasion technique was really so effective. To test this, they devised a very simple experiment: they made groups of three people and randomly chose different topics. One of the people in the group had to convince the other two by giving them arguments about the topic he had to defend. In the end, the positions of the participants were evaluated and, to the astonishment of the researchers, those who served as listeners were not very in favor but those who gave the “talk” were much more convinced.
This experiment suggests that the most compelling reasons come from ourselves, even if they are not in line with our points of view. Therefore, the next time you want to convince someone, don’t get defensive trying to refute his arguments, let him do all the work, you will just have to guide him.
References:
Davis, B. & Knowles, E. (1999) A disrupt-then-reframe technique of social influence. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology; 76(2): 192-199.
Freedman, J. & Fraser, S. (1966) Compliance without pressure: The foot-in-the-door technique. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology; 4(2): 195-202.
Janis, I. & King, B. (1954) The influence of role playing on opinion change. The Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology; 49(2): 211-218.
