“The more I know people, the more I love dogs,” said Charles de Gaulle. And everything seems to indicate that more and more people agree with the former French president, as many claim to prefer their pets to people.
Schopenhauer also recommended the company of animals to all those people who “Had a surplus of intellectual faculties.” The philosopher believed that we could be better off with them than talking to certain people.
Therefore, the preference for the company of pets is not a recent phenomenon, although it is likely that the current lifestyle, characterized by the fragility of bonds and fluid relationships, pushes us more than ever to the comfort offered by relationships with a dog or a cat (which we no longer see as a dog or a cat, but as another member of the family).
Everything that the relationship with animals brings
There’s one indisputable fact: pets offer a form of emotional connection that few humans can match. They are consistent in their behavior, don’t judge us, don’t hold high expectations for us, and are almost always available to offer their affection unconditionally.
People, on the other hand, are complicated. We project our hopes and insecurities onto others. We are demanding and sometimes fickle. We judge and criticize, often mercilessly. We interfere by giving unsolicited advice or we withdraw just when they need us most.
“Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, unlike people, who are incapable of loving purely and always have to mix love and hate,” wrote Sigmund Freud.
Therefore, for someone who has experienced disappointment, interpersonal conflict, or struggles to establish trusting bonds, a dog or cat can represent a safe emotional refuge. There are no hidden agendas in their behavior, nor are there any chances of them stabbing you in the back; what you see is all there is.
Science confirms that interacting with our pets activates areas of the brain associated with the release of oxytocin, the so-called “love hormone,” which can effectively reduce anxiety and generate a feeling of calm and serenity.
This physiological response is direct, predictable, and sometimes even more satisfying than dealing with the complexities of human behavior. It’s no surprise, then, that many people prefer being with their pets to being in the company of others.
It’s not being antisocial… it’s emotional self-defense
To describe those who prefer the company of animals as “antisocial” would be an oversimplification of reality. In clinical psychology, antisocial personality is characterized by a lack of interest in social norms and the well-being of others, as well as a tendency toward impulsiveness and aggression.
However, those who claim to prefer their pets aren’t displaying antisocial behavior. In fact, it’s quite the opposite: they tend to be very sensitive and empathetic people who may be adopting a self-protective strategy.
Let’s not forget that human interactions are fraught with uncertainty, judgment, expectations, conflict, and misunderstanding. People can disappoint us, hurt us, or abandon us. Given this perspective, choosing the company of an animal becomes a risk-free search for affection, establishing relationships in which we feel comfortable enough to show our vulnerability and fragility without fear of being hurt.
Therefore, preferring dogs or cats over people does not imply being antisocial; it could simply be a self-defense strategy.
Choosing solitude
On the other hand, many people who prefer the company of pets are also great lovers of solitude. They don’t seek human company out of obligation, but by choice. They prefer to spend a Sunday at home reading, walking their dog, playing with their cat, or taking care of their personal space rather than attending gatherings that don’t provide much value.
Far from being antisocial, this attitude can reflect emotional maturity: they are people who know how to choose with whom to share their time and energy, and they don’t feel compelled to maintain empty or harmful relationships just because society dictates it.
This ability to enjoy solitude and prioritize meaningful relationships is also associated with higher levels of self-awareness and emotional well-being. Chosen solitude allows for reflection, emotional processing, and healthy boundaries. All of these factors strengthen resilience and emotional stability, which are much harder to cultivate in forced or superficial relationships.
Obviously, for those who grew up with the idea that socializing means going out, talking, and always being available, such behavior may seem incomprehensible and even worrying, but in reality, it’s just different.
Furry Love and Human Connections: Finding Balance
Of course, there are limits. If animal companionship completely replaces human interactions, problems can arise: isolation, social anxiety, and difficulties managing conflict or establishing healthy close bonds.
Human relationships, with all their complexity, teach us to tolerate frustration, accept differences, negotiate conflicts, and develop empathy – essential skills for adult life. Furthermore, exclusive dependence on relationships with animals can create a self-reinforcing cycle: the more interactions with others are avoided, the more fear or discomfort arises, reinforcing the feeling that human company is unnecessary or dangerous.
The challenge is to integrate both relationships into our lives in a balanced way.
Pets offer us unconditional affection, emotional stability, and secure companionship, but human relationships allow us to grow, learn, and experience reciprocity in other ways.
Ultimately, it’s not about replacing people with pets (as much as we love them), but about learning to balance the best of both worlds: enjoying the pure love of your dog or cat while cultivating authentic and fulfilling relationships with meaningful people. That will enrich your world.
References:
Marshall-Pescini, S. et. Al. (2019) The Role of Oxytocin in the Dog-Owner Relationship. Animals (Basel) ; 9(10): 792.
Rehn, T. (2013) Best of friends? Investigating the dog-human relationship. Acta Universitatis Agriculturae Swedene ; 67:51923.
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