A king was given two falcon chicks. He immediately gave them to the master falconer to be trained. After several months, the instructor reported to the king that one of the falcons was well trained, but he didn’t know what was wrong with the other. Since it arrived at the palace, it hadn’t moved from the branch; even food had to be brought to it.
The king summoned healers and shamans, but none could get the bird to fly. Desperate, he issued an edict announcing a reward for anyone who could get the falcon to fly. The next morning, the king saw the bird flying in his gardens.
– Bring me the author of this miracle.
A peasant appeared before the king. The king asked him:
– How did you get the falcon to fly? Are you a magician?
‘It wasn’t very difficult,’ the man explained, smiling. ‘I just cut the branch.’ At that moment, the bird had no choice but to take flight.“
This fable teaches us that sometimes it’s necessary to stay on the branch to regain strength, but if we stay in our comfort zone for too long, we’ll never know how far we could have gone. Therefore, we need to expand our comfort zone more and more.
We grow by leaving our comfort zone
Whether we like it or not, the ability to consciously leave our comfort zone and dare to discover new horizons or pursue our dreams is what sets us apart from others; it’s what allows us to have new experiences that enrich our lives. Unfortunately, most people prefer to stay in their comfort zone, that space where they feel more or less comfortable and safe.
To understand the comfort zone, you can imagine two concentric circles, a smaller one inside a larger one, but not touching at any point. The smaller circle represents all the things we’re used to, our habits and routines, the places we usually visit, and the people we hang out with. It’s our comfort zone.
At first glance, everything may seem great, but the truth is that staying within that circle doesn’t guarantee happiness or ensure you won’t have regrets at the end of your life. In fact, staying in your comfort zone limits you because it doesn’t allow you to discover anything new. In this way, you may die a little every day. In fact, remember that life begins where your comfort zone ends.
However, there is a much larger circle, made up of things you don’t know, your dreams, the unknown, new places… It’s the circle of learning. In fact, we only grow when we are able to leap into that circle, so that our small circle expands ever further.
Many people are too scared to take that leap because they don’t know what they’ll find in that other circle, so they put into practice a self-sabotage mechanism to stay in their comfort zone and not be forced to leave.
The lies we tell ourselves to stay in our comfort zone
1. “I don’t have to do it”
It’s true, there’s no one pushing you out of your comfort zone. You don’t have to, but if you stay inside, you won’t grow. Remember that you don’t grow simply because the years pass, but because of the challenges you face. When you think about a project that represents a great challenge and suddenly your inner voice tells you that you don’t have to do it, what you’re actually expressing is a resistance to change, because a part of you wants you to stay within the limits of what’s known. However, when you think again that you have no reason to undertake something new, remember that the simple fact of growth and discovery are more than enough reasons.
2. “It’s not the right time”
Very rarely do the perfect conditions arise for undertaking something, but pursuing a dream means fighting against all odds, creating the conditions along the way. When you tell yourself it’s not the right time, it’s fear speaking, probably an intense fear of failure instilled in you since childhood. Of course, it’s not about jumping into an adventure without weighing the pros and cons, but if we truly want to achieve something in life, we must be aware that we can’t stand still; we need to take small steps. And the sooner we start, the better.
3. “I will start when…”
This is one of the most common excuses for staying safe in our comfort zone. In practice, it’s the perfect self-deception because we’re not giving up on the dream or project we have in mind, but merely postponing it until a certain situation arises. The problem is that this excuse leads us directly to procrastination, so it’s likely that when the condition we demand is met, we’ll set another, and then another. This way, we manage to keep hope alive but, at the same time, we don’t have to make an effort to make that dream a reality. So, even if all the conditions aren’t in place, simply take small steps; don’t wait too long, because life is very short.
4. “It’s not for me”
Basically, behind this phrase lies the idea that we’re not good enough or capable enough. It’s the perfect excuse for insecure people with low self-esteem. It’s also an excuse used by people who are afraid of the world and close to new experiences. In any case, you won’t know if you really like something or not until you try it. In fact, you’ve probably thought more than once that something wasn’t for you, but after trying it, you’ve come to love it or even become addicted. Therefore, never close yourself off to new experiences or limit yourself as a person. It’s the worst thing you could do.
5. “I don’t know how to do it”
New things can be daunting, which is why one of the excuses we make for staying in our comfort zone is telling ourselves we don’t know how to face the challenge. We may think we don’t have the necessary skills or that we’ll never be able to develop them. However, remember that when you have a “what,” the “how” comes naturally. It’s true that undertaking certain projects requires preparation, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it; it just means it will take longer or that you’ll need someone to help you. No skill emerges from nowhere; they all contain a wealth of passion and effort.
Finally, always keep in mind what Nelson Mandela said: “Impossible is everything that is not attempted.”
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