Forget about setting goals, try a word of intention

When the year starts, making a list of good resolutions seems like an inevitable ritual. “This year I will go to the gym”, “I will read 20 books ”, “I will finally save up for that trip ”… But has it ever happened to you that in February you no longer remember even half of your goals? Or even worse: you feel guilty for not achieving them. In these cases, perhaps it is time to try something different: instead of goals, choose a word of intention.

Objectives, that double-edged sword

Setting goals is not a bad thing. In fact, it is advisable and we are taught to do so from a young age. What we are often not taught is that the path to achieving them is full of psychological traps that can dynamite our best intentions, making us feel like failures.

1. The “all or nothing” effect. Often, goals are too specific, so if we stray even a little from the goal, we feel like we’ve completely failed. If you set out to run a marathon and get injured just before, you’ll feel like you’ve failed. If you set out to lose 10 kilos and you “only” lost 7, you’ll also feel like it wasn’t enough. Very specific goals are often too rigid, leaving little room to adapt to unexpected events. As a result, if you don’t achieve them, you’ll feel like you’ve done nothing, even if you’ve actually made progress. So, in general, you should avoid thinking in terms of “all or nothing.”
2. The dictatorship of “should.” Sometimes we set goals simply because we think we “should” achieve them, not because we really care about them. We want to lose weight because those around us are thin, we join the gym because everyone else does, or we set out to learn a new language because it’s trendy. Because these types of goals are disconnected from our true needs and desires, they are based on extrinsic motivation, which will run out sooner rather than later, leaving behind an inevitable taste of dissatisfaction and failure.
3. Tunnel vision. When we drive too fast, our vision narrows, so we can’t see what’s going on in our wider environment. Stress and anxiety also narrow our field of vision, as well as certain goals. When we focus too much on achieving a goal, we can neglect other important things, which often creates an imbalance in the different spheres of our lives that, in the long run, will affect our well-being. Obsessing over a goal can make us forget to enjoy the rest of things, making our happiness dependent on its achievement.

In the long run, poorly defined or inconsequential goals can become an unnecessary source of stress. The good news is that we can continue to grow and move forward in life without having to formally set these goals.

One word that sums it all up

The idea behind the word of intention is as simple as it is powerful. Instead of writing down an endless list of goals, choose a word that captures the essence of what you want to achieve and, most importantly, how you want to feel throughout the year or any other period of time you choose.

You can choose words like “resilience,” “gratitude,” “openness,” or “presence.” That word will act as a compass, guiding your decisions and actions in a much more natural way, allowing you to adapt to the changes that will inevitably occur during that period. In fact, using a word of intention has many psychological benefits:

1. Clear focus. It acts as a constant reminder of your priorities and values, without the need to keep long lists of goals in mind. It helps you focus on what really matters to you more easily.
2. Flexibility. The best thing about the word of intention is that it adapts to different situations and life stages, giving you enough leeway to readjust your plans without feeling guilty.
3. Reduce stress. By avoiding the pressure of having to meet specific goals, you can live in a more relaxed and self-aligned way, which will ultimately help you achieve your plans.
4. Sustainable motivation. With the word of intention you do not rely solely on willpower, but rather you let yourself be inspired by a concept that guides and drives you from within.
5. Greater self-compassion. It allows you to move forward without judging yourself for what you did or didn’t do, celebrating each small step that responds to your intention. This way, you can maintain a more positive attitude along the way.

How to choose your word of intention?

It is often said that there is a long way from intention to action. But that distance is shortened when intentions are strong and stable, according to a study carried out at the universities of Leeds and Sheffield. In that case, they really have the power to change our behaviour. These researchers found that the key is to set reasonable, coherent and motivating intentions that resonate with our system of beliefs and values.

1. Reflect on the past. Take a moment to look back – it could be the past year or any other period of time you choose. Ask yourself: What did you lack or what do you wish you had more of? What moments made you feel dissatisfied? Were there situations in which you wished you had more patience, courage or calm? This exercise in introspection can give you clues to identify the aspects you want to strengthen.
2. Choose a word that resonates with you. Forget about fancy, pompous, or nice-sounding words! Your intention word should excite or inspire you. It should reflect your desires, emotions, and/or values. So ask yourself: does this word reflect what I want for myself? If you feel a little “click” inside you when you say it, it’s probably the right one.
3. Test it out. Before you commit to a word of intention, imagine yourself applying it in your daily life. For example, if you choose “harmony,” think about how you would integrate it into your routine, relationships, or work. Visualize how that word could guide and change your reactions in your day-to-day life. If it doesn’t feel natural or inspiring to you – or if you don’t think it’s feasible – keep exploring other options.

Finally, look for practical ways to apply your chosen intention word. For example, if you choose “balance,” you might ask yourself: Am I spending too much time at work? What can I do to feel more balanced? The intention word should not “push” or “force” you, but rather inspire you to make the necessary changes.

In fact, its “magic” is that it will help you stay focused on what you want without so much pressure. It’s not about goals on a list, but about living according to a principle that makes you feel aligned with yourself and the world. In the end, that word gives you permission to adapt, grow, and treat yourself with kindness along the way.

Do you dare to try this approach?

References:

Conner, M. & Norman, P. (2022) Understanding the intention-behavior gap: The role of intention strength. Front Psychol; 13:923464.

Sheeran, P. (2005) Intention–Behavior Relations: A Conceptual and Empirical Review. In: European Review of Social Psychology; 12: 1-36.