Do you bite your nails? If so, you are not alone, nail biting is a fairly common habit. Onychophagia, which is the name given to this act, is much more common than you might imagine, as it affects 45% of children and 10% of adults.
However, the problem of nail biting is not merely aesthetic. For example, it has been observed that children who suffer from onychophagia have more difficulties in developing their social skills. It is also known that continuous biting causes microtraumas that damage the nail bed and end up affecting the normal growth of the nail. In addition, it generates pain and inflammation in the finger, while increasing the probability of contracting fungus.
Onychophagia can also cause tooth wear and, when it persists over time, it can even lead to malocclusion of the front teeth. In addition, when a person not only bites their nails but also ingests them, there is a risk of alveolar destruction and damage to the digestive system.
Nail biting also has psychological consequences. Not only does this person experience a strong feeling of guilt, but they often think that they are not able to control their impulses, as a result, their self-esteem is affected and they lose self-confidence.
The main problem is that the desire to stop biting one’s nails causes more tension and anxiety, thus worsening the condition. In fact, it has been observed that onychophagia is more common when the person is experiencing situations of stress, nervousness or dissatisfaction.
How to stop biting your nails?
First of all, it is important to understand that nail biting is a habit, and a habit is nothing more than a learned behavior. In fact, some children start biting their nails to imitate someone else.
In other cases, the habit starts unconsciously, either because the person was bored or because they felt nervous. At that moment, nail biting becomes an escape valve, the brain associates this behavior with something positive, which allows the anxiety to be released and so the person continues biting their nails.
Of course, there are different types of habits. Instead of referring to “positive” and “negative” habits, it is better to talk about functional habits, which help us to function better in our daily lives, and dysfunctional or maladaptive habits, which cause us problems.
Obviously, nail biting can become a pathology, it can lead to a pathological dependency that the person cannot manage and that limits their life. In these cases, it is very difficult to give up this habit without the help of a professional who will guide you through your steps. However, if it is a habit that has not yet reached these proportions, you can probably eliminate it by following these steps.
1. Really try it
It may seem like a truism, but there are people who do not find the habit of biting their nails really bothering them. In these cases, there is no commitment to change because there is no urgent need to stop the habit. In fact, in some cases, nail biting can bring such relief from anxiety that, when weighed up, the person prefers to continue with the habit rather than try to stop it. Of course, this mechanism is not always conscious, so it is important to look inside yourself and ask yourself if you really want to stop biting your nails. If so, you must make a commitment to yourself.
2. Don’t try to avoid the desire to bite your nails
At first glance, it may seem like a contradiction, but trying to suppress the desire to bite your nails simply doesn’t work. When we try to suppress a sensation or thought from our mind, a self-monitoring process is activated that leads us to think even more about the idea we want to get rid of, which is known as the “rebound effect”. Therefore, don’t focus on eliminating the desire to bite your nails, instead, find a “substitute habit”.
3. Create a new habit
The simplest and easiest way to change a habit is to replace it with a new one that is more productive and functional. For example, if you want to eliminate that mid-morning snack, you should eat an apple or take a short walk instead. However, if you just eliminate the snack and don’t create a healthier habit in its place, you will soon return to the old habit. Obviously, choosing a healthy habit is easy, the hard part is putting it into practice.
In this sense, you can use one of the most effective exercises proposed by NLP to change habits, called “swish.” Basically, it involves imagining that you are about to bite your nails. Look at that scene in first person and concentrate on the sensations you experience just when you are about to put your nails in your mouth. Then, change the scene, imagine that you are doing something else, such as putting your hands in your pockets, and look at yourself from the outside, as an external spectator. Imagine that you are calm and serene, that you are in control.
Repeat this exercise several times, making a small sound as you change the image: “swish.” This sound will serve as a connection on other occasions, so that you can calm down when you are about to bite your nails. In practice, it is about creating an automatic connection with a state of well-being, so that you do not give in to the compulsion.
4. Use visual cues
A study conducted at the Israel Institute of Technology showed that visual cues are very useful in stopping nail biting. These psychologists worked with 80 people who suffered from nail biting. Half of them were subjected to traditional aversive therapy, while the other half used non-removable visual reminders. After five months, it was found that the people who used visual cues obtained better results.
This method is particularly effective for those who bite their nails automatically, without realizing it, but who have good self-control. In fact, it involves looking for a visual cue to remind us not to bite our nails. This could be painting our nails in a bright color or even wearing a bracelet. The idea is that when you are about to put your nails in your mouth, you see the warning signal and consciously stop that gesture.
5. Break the structure
A very effective technique to stop biting your nails is to do it systematically. This is a method of Reverse Psychology in which the objective is precisely to bite your nails.
In practice, you can give yourself free rein, provided that you bite your nails in a certain order, first the little finger, then the ring finger, and so on. When you do this, it will feel very strange. In fact, the stranger it is, the better, because it is about inserting an order into a habit that is not structured. In this way, it is as if you were introducing a bomb inside the habit, so that it explodes from the inside.
You have to repeat it several times, until you reach a point where it becomes so strange that it becomes unpleasant. Most people give up the habit quickly, so it is a very effective technique. However, if after a reasonable time (two weeks) you notice that it is not working, it is better to abandon it and opt for another strategy.
6. Pay attention to the context
Nail biting feeds on anxiety and emotional imbalance. Therefore, it is important that in addition to putting into practice different techniques that allow you to control this habit, you also work on your context. If you manage to eliminate some of the daily stressors, you will be paving the way. In fact, often the things that stress us the most are not the big problems but the small daily worries. Learning relaxation and stress coping techniques will not only be beneficial to stop biting your nails but also to improve your quality of life.
In addition, it is advisable to pay attention to the stimuli that usually trigger this habit. People often bite their nails when they are in front of the television, while reading or just before giving a presentation. You should pay attention to the context since you will find signals that trigger the habit, in these cases, it is advisable to avoid these stimuli.
7. Monitor progress and congratulate yourself
Nail biting is often a problem associated with perfectionism. Many people who bite their nails put themselves under a lot of stress because they want to achieve impeccable results. These people tend to maintain a very negative dialogue with themselves, an internal dialogue marked by reproaches. However, if you want to achieve positive changes in your life, rather than brandishing the whip against yourself, it is better to learn to reward yourself and feel satisfied with your achievements, however small they may be.
When trying to change a habit, there will be times when you lose motivation, so it’s important to monitor your progress. A very simple strategy is to take photos of your hands, so you can see the progress. This way, you’ll be able to see the changes after a week or 15 days. Then, congratulate yourself on what you’ve achieved and give yourself a little treat. Remember that the child inside you also needs words of support and pats on the back.
Reference:
Koritzy, G. & Yechiam, e. (2011) On the value of nonremovable reminders for behavior modification: an application to nail-biting (onychophagia). Behavior Modification; 35(6):511-530.
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