When it comes to achieving a goal, our worst enemy is not the lack of resources, the obstacles that people around us can put in our way, or even the lack of skills, but rather demotivation in life.
Motivation is the main driving force behind our behavior, it is a cornerstone of productivity, creativity and happiness. Motives guide our behavior and allow us to stay on track. If we lose motivation, we lose energy and we will fall short of the goal.
Demotivation is like snow
It is said that the Eskimos have different words for snow because, as it is a phenomenon that is so familiar to them, they are able to appreciate the subtle differences between different types of snow. This allows them to react differently, adapt their behaviour and take advantage of the benefits that each type of snow offers.
When it comes to demotivation, most people don’t make distinctions, they just assume they’re all struggling with the same problem. However, demotivation is actually like snow, there are subtle differences that we don’t usually notice.
Essentially, demotivation is a lack of commitment to certain goals, but there are different causes behind it. If we don’t know what type of demotivation we are facing, if we don’t investigate its origins, we won’t be able to define an effective strategy to get us out of that state of apathy.
The causes of demotivation: How to combat them?
1. Fear. Even if you have made a decision, when you explore new territory and leave your comfort zone, it is normal for a part of you to experience fear. To a certain extent, this fear is beneficial as it will make you move forward with caution, but it can also generate uncertainty and doubts, and it can place obstacles in the path that do not really exist, just because it tries to keep you safe. If the fear is too great, even if you are very enthusiastic about the project, fear will take care of demotivating you.
How do you find your motivation again? Start by discovering what your fears are and give them a name. The simple act of acknowledging them already reduces their influence. Also, design a detailed strategy that allows you to reach your goal but in small steps that do not generate too much tension so that you do not feel that you have completely lost control.
2. Wrong goals. We all have an “essential self” and a “social self.” The “essential self” is more dreamy, creative and spontaneous, while the “social self” makes sure you follow the rules and adapt to your environment. However, sometimes this “social self” sets goals that go against the “essential self” and do not fully satisfy you. This is what is known in Psychology as “extrinsic motives.” These motives can give you energy for part of the way, but sooner or later, demotivation will set in.
How do you find motivation again? Review your goals and ask yourself if you are really satisfied with following that path. Consider that your “essential self” does not always use verbal language to tell you what it wants, so you should listen to what your body and intuition tell you. If you do not feel comfortable with certain goals, you should change course.
3. Lack of clarity. In most cases, goals emerge as vague images of what we want to achieve. Little by little, this image becomes clearer and its mobilizing power over behavior increases. However, an image is not enough. It is necessary to establish short- and medium-term objectives , as well as determine the actions necessary to achieve them. If you do not know what the next step is, you will feel confused and overwhelmed, which is why it is easy for demotivation to appear.
How to find motivation again? Take time to plan your future, visualize what you want to achieve, set goals and determine a deadline to meet them. When you have a plan and know what you need to do, you will not only feel more motivated but you will be able to move forward faster and with greater confidence.
4. Conflict of values. Your values define you as a person; they are a compass that guides you in the midst of conflicts. Therefore, when you are forced to give up one of the values that identify you, a contradiction is generated inside you, forces that follow opposite directions fight. In these cases, demotivation is a strategy of your “self” to make you give up your attempt and to make you be faithful to those values.
How do you find your motivation again? You need to be aware of the values that are causing the conflict and ask yourself if they really define you as a person. Think about how you would feel if you achieved your goal at the cost of ignoring those values. Determine what is most important to you and, based on that, stay the course or change direction. Remember that the end does not always justify the means.
5. Pain from loss. All great goals require great sacrifices. It is simply impossible to have everything you want without giving up anything. However, we are not always aware of this, but we only realize it halfway through, when we realize the loss. At that moment, the pain and suffering can become paralyzing and the classic question arises: is it really worth it? Then doubts, feelings of guilt and lack of confidence appear.
How do you find your motivation again? It’s important that you don’t try to hide the pain and move forward no matter what. Take your time to process the loss and alleviate the suffering it has caused. You may need to ask yourself what you are willing to lose to achieve that goal, and that answer will help you clarify your limits. At this point, you may need to rethink your goals, or maybe you just need to slow down.
6. Lack of challenges. Challenges are essential to keep motivation alive. Challenges are that spark that pushes us to go further and not give up even if the road is uphill. However, to achieve a goal we often have to do tasks that are tedious and that can ruin motivation because they do not represent new opportunities to grow and improve. It is that moment when you realize that everything is not as fun as it seemed.
How do you find motivation again? Challenge yourself, find different ways to do those tasks that you find boring. Remember that a simple change can make a difference and that there are always different paths to get to the same point. Look for activities that inspire you and represent a challenge.
7. Fatigue. When you set a goal, you feel overcome by a state of euphoria that gives you an extra dose of energy. However, as the climb gets steeper, fatigue soon sets in. It is a mental and physical exhaustion that manifests itself in a very insidious form of demotivation and can tempt you to throw in the towel. In fact, it is a very common situation when we do not achieve our goals as quickly as we thought or when the task demands more energy and resources than we had anticipated.
How to regain motivation? Rest. Stress and fatigue are normal responses, especially after sustained effort. Once you have reached this point, you need to take a break; it is not advisable to continue at all costs. In fact, it is advisable to change activities for a while, just enough to rediscover your passion and see the situation from a different perspective. When you return to the project, you will not only have more energy but also new ideas.
A coach can be the solution
When you lose motivation for a project, forcing yourself to continue is not the solution. In fact, it is even worse because each types of demotivation contains a message that you should not ignore. In these cases, a coach can be of great help.
Coaching is a process aimed at unlocking your potential so that you can achieve the goals you have set for yourself. A coach will help you analyze your current situation, redefine your objectives and establish a plan to achieve them. Through coaching you will get in touch with that “essential self”, you will be able to rediscover your passions and interests, increase your self-confidence and learn to better manage your time and resources.
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