Living without regrets is not an easy task. There are many things that throughout life become heavy burdens and tend to cause us feelings of guilt. When we look back and do a quick recount of the life decisions we have made, perhaps now, reevaluating them from another perspective, we realize that we were wrong and this generates large doses of anxiety and, obviously, regret.
However, living in the past, constantly blaming ourselves for what we did (or for what we did not do and should have done) is as useless as an Indian dance to call for rain. Fortunately, it is possible to learn to live without regrets.
How to avoid regrets in life?
1. Love yourself
It may sound silly but the truth is that people constantly blame themselves because they are too rigid with themselves and do not love themselves enough. To free ourselves from this problem, I invite you to imagine yourself as a small, defenseless child. What would you do if you saw a helpless child? Surely you would approach him and give him love, trying to convey security.
However, what we do with our “inner self” is blame it and recriminate it because it could have done things differently. And it’s true, we had other options but… what’s the point of crying over spilled milk?
At this point, we must understand that our “inner self” is not perfect, that it makes mistakes and that it has as many fears and indecisions as a small child. Therefore, rather than yelling at him, we should give him love and security. Understanding that we have made mistakes but that we are still valuable people.
2. Give yourself permission to make mistakes
The fact that we give ourselves permission to err does not mean that our life will become a string of wrong decisions, it means that we assume that we are human and that, under certain conditions, we can make mistakes.
People who live with regrets do not realize that they are evaluating their decisions in light of new information that they did not have in the past. Therefore, when we evaluate a decision, it is important that we realize that we did the best we could with the data we had at our disposal.
3. Ask for help if you need it
If there is a valid reason to repent, it is not having asked for help when we could have done so. Normally people who are outside the problem can glimpse solutions that are far from our perception. Therefore, asking for the advice of others is essential to ensure that we are making the most appropriate decision.
4. Express your feelings
Our society teaches us to hide feelings; However, expressing what we feel is an excellent exercise to relieve stress and be happier. When people are able to assertively demonstrate what they feel, they manage to have a much happier life since they can “let go” of problems more easily.
When our behavior, thoughts and feelings are congruent there are few reasons to repent. Claim your rights more often but also say “I love you” more often.
5. Enjoy every moment
The problems that we must continually face make our physical body be in one place and our mind in another. In this way, we neither solve the problem nor enjoy the pleasant moments that life gives.
To live with less stress and be a little happier, it is essential to learn to be fully aware and this means that you must live each situation with the intensity it deserves. Rediscover the pleasure of nature and good company, this is a good start.
6. Take risks
One of the most common reasons why people regret it is not having taken an opportunity when it was presented to them. The problem is that these opportunities almost always present themselves as risks and we all have a certain tendency to stay within our comfort zone.
At this point, I clarify that it is not about jumping into the void and taking vain risks for the simple fact of experiencing strong emotions but about weighing the pros and cons and, if it is worth it, accepting the challenge. There is nothing worse than wondering “What would have happened if I had done…?”
7. Learn to let go
When we are emotionally committed to a person or situation, it is not easy to let it go and it is certainly not something that happens overnight, but it is essential that we set out to follow the path.
You must remember that “letting go” does not mean forgetting but rather remembering without resentment, misgivings or regrets. Letting go means accepting that life continues its course and that the past is nothing but experience.
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