When a relationship begins, it’s filled with dreams, hopes, and good wishes. However, time and everyday life take care of everything, and that passion can soon give way to boredom. Therefore, it’s not surprising that many couples break up quickly. Love is a fundamental ingredient, but it’s often not enough and isn’t a 100% guarantee of stability.
When you plan a life with another person, you don’t need to swear eternal love, through poverty and wealth, in sickness and in health. In fact, we all make that promise when we walk down the aisle, but we know that very few couples manage to keep it.
However, there are other promises that are a guarantee for a relationship to work. If both people are willing to keep them, their love is likely to last forever.
The promises that each member of the couple should make to themselves
1. I promise to listen. Every relationship is built on communication, which should flow both ways. If you want your voice to be heard, you must first learn to listen to your partner. Each person must feel comfortable enough in the relationship to express their feelings and ideas. Therefore, it is necessary for each person to be tolerant and open-minded enough to listen and understand the other.
2. I promise to learn. Life is a learning process, and a relationship is even more so. For a relationship to work, each person must commit to change. You’ll likely both need to learn a lot from each other, and above all, you’ll need to learn from your mistakes so you don’t repeat them. In a relationship, there’s nothing more frustrating than watching the other person make the same mistakes over and over again, just because they’re unwilling to change.
3. I promise to let you be who you are. One of the main problems in relationships is that each person wants to change the other. We often have unrealistic expectations and expect our partner to change just to please us. In fact, we may want to change the things we were once attracted to later. However, true love involves unconditional acceptance. Don’t try to change your partner; love them as they are.
4. I promise to live for us. Many couples today barely share their daily lives. They see each other for a couple of hours a day and lead separate lives. This is the most direct strategy to becoming complete strangers. Therefore, if you want a relationship to work, both partners must commit to living for each other. This doesn’t mean losing their individuality, but rather making decisions together and truly living as a couple. Discuss your dreams and goals with your partner, and involve them in your life.
5. I promise to let you grow. A healthy and mature relationship is one in which each partner can grow as a person. If someone suffocates the other, steals their privacy and space, the relationship is doomed to fail. It’s important to respect the other person’s space, support them, and help them achieve their dreams. Only when two people feel satisfied with themselves can they build a satisfying relationship.
6. I promise to remember how wonderful you are. One of the biggest problems couples face is that, over time, they take for granted that the other person will always be there. This way, they begin to focus on their mistakes and flaws. However, an excellent way to keep the flame alive is to be grateful for having that person by our side, reminding ourselves every day why they are special.
7. I promise to take care of you. Nothing brings a couple closer than going through difficult times together. When someone has supported us, it creates a deep emotional connection that’s hard to break. So, make sure you’re always there for your partner when they need you.
8. I promise to surprise you. Routine is one of the worst enemies of any couple. That’s why it’s important for each partner to make an effort to surprise the other and keep the details of the early days alive. Think about the things your partner likes and surprise them, letting them know they’re important to you and that you love them.
9. I promise to forgive you. Forgiveness is one of the essential skills in a relationship. Without forgiveness, mistakes will accumulate, cause resentment, and become a time bomb that will explode sooner or later. In a relationship, it’s important to forgive everything that needs to be forgiven if both partners want to move forward. Of course, it’s not about submitting to the other, but if you intend to continue the relationship, you can’t hold on to resentments. Otherwise, it’s better to cut the relationship short.
10. I promise to love you when you least deserve it, because that’s when you need it most. Every couple has ups and downs; it’s normal. Sometimes, one partner, overcome by stress or resentment, says or does things they shouldn’t. Even so, it’s important to be understanding and not run away at the first sign of trouble. Remember that the happiest couples aren’t those who don’t have difficulties, but those who manage to overcome them and emerge stronger.
Missy says
Totally disagree with your believing human love should be “ unconditional”
For a relationship to truly work there must be conditions or “ boundaries” on what each person will or will not accept. If these conditions cannot not or will not be met then the couple should go their separate ways and avoid the heartache that will occur from “ broken promises” down the road.
I don’t know if you’re a Christian or not but you should know the only true “ Unconditional Love” comes from God.
I certainly hope you’re not counseling couples!!