What’s best for stress? Science finds the simplest and most effective strategy

A tight deadline at work, an argument with your partner, a traffic jam just when you were already running late… Sometimes it seems that the universe conspires against us, turning life into an obstacle course that constantly overwhelms and surpasses us.

When those small frustrations accumulate, stress can quickly escalate. And you’re not alone. Countless people ask me how to relieve stress almost daily. This isn’t surprising, given that a meta-analysis conducted in 149 countries, involving more than 2.4 million people, found that over half the population experiences emotional stress—a problem that has been on the rise in recent years.

Having become public enemy number one, and with increased awareness of the health damage caused by stress-induced inflammation, we seek countless strategies to get rid of this unwanted companion, from spiritual retreats in remote locations to express yoga sessions. However, science reveals that the best approach to cumulative stress is a strategy as simple as it is effective: developing perceived control.

Tell me what you control and I’ll tell you how stressed you are

Psychologists at Pennsylvania State University followed 1,700 people for eight days. During that time, participants reported on the daily stressors they had experienced in the previous 24 hours.

As expected, the most common sources of stress were interpersonal tensions and arguments, overloading with domestic or work tasks, and the problems of close people, which in turn became a source of distress.

Participants also indicated whether they had been able to resolve these problems by the end of the day and the degree of control they perceived over each stressor. Researchers repeated these same surveys 10 years later to see if there was a connection between perceived control and stress reduction over time.

They found that, indeed, the feeling of control was key to successfully dealing with problems and relieving stress.

The feeling of control varies from day to day, but increases with age

Our perception of control varies considerably depending on numerous factors. In other words, it’s not a relatively stable personality trait, but rather it changes according to the circumstances.

There are days when we feel we have everything under control: we move forward, make decisions with confidence, and it seems like nothing can stop us. Other days, however, everything feels like an uphill battle. What seemed manageable yesterday becomes overwhelming today.

These changes in perceived control are due to a mixture of factors, from our energy level to how we slept the night before, the social support we receive, the unexpected events we have to face, or our mood, among many others.

However, these researchers found that on days when people felt more in control than usual, they were more likely to resolve the stressful situation. Interestingly, this pattern remained consistent regardless of the type or intensity of the stressor, meaning it largely depends on our internal resources. And it strengthened with age.

At the start of the study, participants who reported a higher level of perceived control were 61% more likely to resolve stressful situations during the day. A decade later, that same increase in perceived control raised the likelihood to 65%. This means that as we age, we not only have a greater sense of control, but this control also helps us manage stress more effectively.

The best thing for stress: developing perceived control

Perceived control is the belief that we can determine our internal states and behaviors, thereby influencing our environment and/or achieving the desired outcome.

Psychologist Hanna Levenson proposed that the level of perceived control depends on three fundamental dimensions:

1. Internal control. This refers to the perception that our personal actions and decisions are determining factors in the results we obtain.
2. Influence of powerful others. Indicates the belief that people with authority or greater abilities can affect our lives.
3. Chance. It reflects the perception that fate, luck, or unpredictable circumstances play an important role in the control we have over events.

Being aware of these three dimensions allows us to identify where we have room for action and where, on the other hand, it is better to apply radical acceptance, make peace with uncertainty and flow with events.

How to develop perceived control to relieve stress?

The good news is that developing a sense of control doesn’t even require drastic changes in daily life. Experience has shown me that small actions can make a big difference.

1. Recognize your areas of control. Not everything is in your hands, and that’s perfectly normal. Identifying where you can act (your own actions, concrete decisions) will prevent you from wasting energy on aspects that depend on chance or others and will protect you from unnecessary stress. Therefore, start with a question: What can I truly control? And focus on that.
2. Set clear priorities. Identify what’s truly important each day and focus your energy on it. Letting yourself be carried away by unexpected events and thinking everything is urgent will plunge you into chaos and you’ll soon feel overwhelmed. Therefore, ask yourself: Is this truly important to me?
3. Break down big challenges into more manageable steps. Complex problems can become overwhelming and paralyzing. Framing them into smaller tasks will allow you to move forward and develop a sense of control while gaining self-efficacy . This will boost your confidence and lower your stress level. Start one step at a time, asking yourself: What do I need to do now? Nothing more. Once you’ve taken the first step, focus on the next.
4. Use lists and time blocks. It might seem trivial, but I can guarantee from experience that organizing tasks into lists or dividing them into time blocks will give you a visual map of your day and your responsibilities, leading to greater clarity and a stronger sense of control. It’s one of those small things that makes a big difference. Plus, crossing tasks off the list creates a sense of agency that empowers you and helps you cope better with stress. The key is to be objective and not plan more than you can handle.
5. Ask for help or delegate when necessary. Don’t try to be Superman or Superwoman. Ask for help or delegate before the situation overwhelms you. This isn’t about “giving up,” but about managing your resources wisely: decide which tasks someone else could handle, explain exactly what you need, and set a realistic deadline. Delegating not only lightens your mental load, but it also restores your sense of control and provides the external support you need to reduce internal pressure. So, always ask yourself: Can I handle this alone, or do I need help? And be honest in your answer.

It’s also a good idea to practice focusing on what you’ve accomplished, instead of dwelling on what you haven’t done or haven’t been able to do. These practices, though they seem simple, create a virtuous cycle: they increase your perceived control, which reduces stress and boosts your well-being. And when you’re calmer and more focused, you’ll be better able to manage stress.

References:

Dakota, D. et. Al. (2025) Daily perceived association between control and resolution of daily stressors strengthens across a decade of adulthood. Communications Psychology; 3(130): 10.1038.

Piao, X. et. Al. (2024) Continuous worsening of population emotional stress globally: universality and variations. BMC Public Health; 24(1): 3576. Levenson, H. (1973) Multidimensional locus of control in psychiatric patients. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology; 41: 397-404.