Do women really talk more than men? Science settles the debate

You’ve probably heard the saying, “Women talk a lot more than men.” And you’re probably even convinced it’s true. And no wonder, since jokes, memes, and even books repeat the idea that women speak 20,000 words a day, while men barely manage 7,000. But is it true?

The origin of the myth that women talk more than men

For a long time, the differences between men and women have been exaggerated to reinforce certain gender stereotypes. The myth that women talk much more arose in part from anecdotal observations, often biased by cultural prejudices.

The statistic, repeated like a mantra, states that women speak an average of 20,000 words a day, while men utter an average of 7,000. However, a researcher at the University of Pennsylvania who attempted to trace the origin of these figures discovered that they came from a marriage counselor’s 1993 brochure, with no scientific sources.

Other books repeated and reinforced this belief without providing solid evidence, helping to perpetuate the idea that women speak more than men. Works like “The Female Brain” assert that “although the numbers vary, on average, women speak two to three times more words per day than men.”

However, science does not confirm this belief.

The experiment that debunked the myth

To analyze who spoke the most, a group of researchers from the University of Arizona conducted a study involving 396 people from different professions and social backgrounds. Each person wore a recording device that captured ambient sounds over several days. From these records, the scientists were able to determine the number of words each person spoke per day.

They found that both genders speak almost the same amount of words: 16,215 words for women and 15,669 for men.

This research was the first to use objective data to debunk one of the most widespread myths about verbal communication. Although subsequent studies have been conducted that have nuanced certain contextual aspects (for example, differences in specific situations or in certain types of conversations), the general conclusion remains the same: there are no significant differences between the number of words men and women say per day.

Why do we think women talk more?

If science has spoken, why does this myth persist so much? The truth is, there are several reasons that continue to fuel this gender stereotype.

1. Selective perception. In society, selective perception still exists, so it’s more noticeable when women chat in groups (such as on social media or in coffee shops), but it’s ignored that men also do so in other settings (such as bars or gyms). Likewise, when a woman talks a lot in a social setting, people are more likely to perceive it as excessive due to prevalent cultural stereotypes. On the other hand, if a man does the same thing, it’s often interpreted differently.
2. Communication context. Women tend to speak more in emotional or relational situations, while men may speak more in work or technical contexts. This creates a false perception that women “talk more” in general. In fact, a study published in the Harvard Business Review found that in work meetings, women tend to speak 25% less than their male colleagues and half of them are interrupted more frequently than men.
3. Social expectations. On a social level, women are expected to be more skilled and expressive communicators, while men are associated with verbal brevity and efficiency. These expectations, which are encouraged by the media, movies, and even books, ultimately shape how we interpret the word count of each gender.

What impact does this myth have on everyday life?

Although it may seem like an innocent belief, the idea that women talk more than men can have real consequences in everyday life. For example:

1. Discrediting women’s opinions. If it’s assumed that women speak too much, their opinions are easily dismissed as “excessive” or “emotional.” This can undermine their credibility both personally and professionally.
2. Promoting gender inequalities. By perpetuating the idea that talking a lot is a negative trait and associating it predominantly with women, the stereotype that women are “less rational” or “more imprecise” in their communication is reinforced. At the same time, the idea that men should not talk about their emotions is fostered, which limits their opportunities to express themselves.
3. Biases in work environments. At work, a woman who actively participates in meetings may be seen as “too talkative” or “bossy,” while a man in the same situation may be perceived as “a leader,” “charismatic,” or “assertive.”

In short, talking a lot isn’t a question of gender, but of context and personality. In the end, what matters isn’t how many words we say, but how we use them to build bridges instead of barriers and clearly convey what we want to say.

So the next time someone brings this up in conversation, you already have the answer: men and women speak practically the same way. And if anyone insists otherwise, perhaps what they need isn’t more words, but better data.

Source:

Mehl, M. R. et. Al. (2007) Are Women Really More Talkative Than Men? Science; 317(5834): 82.