Life has so many twist and turns and sometimes drags us along in its turbulence. Sometimes events unfold with such speed that we have little time left to stop and think. Take that essential pause to reflect on what we are doing and ask ourselves if it is the most appropriate, what satisfies us the most or what makes us happiest.
As a result of these pressures and the hustle and bustle, it is not strange that we end up putting up with things that we shouldn’t, entangled in a web of commitments, social expectations and toxic affections. In those cases, the biggest apology we owe to ourselves.
Have you forgotten about yourself?
Sometimes good manners, the desire to help the others or simply the fear of saying “no” can end up putting you in situations that threaten your mental balance, violate your assertive rights or even ignore your emotions and needs.
Chronic self-sacrifice, emotional dependency, and low self-esteem underpin this need to continue enduring. Sometimes you hold on because you think you have to sacrifice yourself – whatever the cost – and other times because you believe that there is no life beyond that person, job, country…
Sometimes you put up with it because you think you don’t deserve – or can’t achieve – anything better. Thinking that you can’t aspire to anything else will keep you tied to deeply unsatisfying situations and relationships. Resigned. Suffering in silence.
Other times, circumstances are the ones that bind you to harmful situations and toxic relationships from which you don’t know how to escape. When the world seems to wobble under your feet, it’s hard to think clearly to envision a way out. Sometimes you can feel so scared or helpless that you can’t even imagine a life other than the one you lead.
However, it is precisely in those moments when you need to treat yourself with greater kindness. When you need to pour all the understanding, empathy, attention and care that you generally give to others into yourself.
Introspection is the weapon you can use to get out of harmful situations and stop putting up with what you shouldn’t. At a certain point along the way you should stop to ask yourself: Am I okay like this? Do i deserve this? You may find that you owe yourself an apology for forgetting about yourself.
When do you owe yourself an apology?
You owe yourself an apology if you have nullified yourself for too long at the side of someone who, in one way or another, prevented you from being who you were and never appreciated what you did for him/her.
You owe yourself an apology if for a long time you tied yourself to a person or a project that clipped your wings, preventing you from flying freely, curtailing your potential.
You owe yourself an apology if you have spent much of your life satisfying the wishes of the others, bowing to their demands, and continually relegating your own needs to the background.
You owe yourself an apology for all those times you were silent and did not dare to say what you thought, because it was not politically correct or simply because others overwhelmed you.
You owe yourself an apology for all those times you suppressed your emotions and hid your feelings, because expressing them was not welcome, even though they kept burning you inside.
You owe yourself an apology for all those times you put your life on hold for someone who wasn’t worth it. For all those times you shut up or canceled yourself so the others could shine. You owe yourself an apology for having neglected yourself for so long. And, above all, you owe yourself an apology for not having given yourself the opportunity to be happy.
Those apologies won’t give you back the time you lost. Neither the energy consumed or the emotional investment. However, they will restore your confidence in yourself. They will remind you that you are worth a lot and that you shouldn’t eclipse yourself like that again. Those apologies will allow you to make peace with yourself. They will remind you that you deserve respect. And, above all, they will be the starting point to start building the life you want. The life you really deserve.
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